found you?

dunno if it's right to post it out here but i don't know how to deal with this. there wont be many people reading this anyway. Maybe after writing it down i will know what to do afterwards.

huff.. mm.. how to begin? ok, there is this girl that i think might have a crush on me. shocking isn't it? haha..

how do i know you asked? well, my memories isn't always very good. but i have told some of my friend about every of her behaviour for a while and all of the male and female friends concluded that she is indeed into me. well she may has showed many signals for me like for example she shared what her interests and what she likes with me, she asked me out to cinema everytime she was free, she came to my place and cooked for me without any real reason. she just came by as she likes i think. ok enough about that.

The real problem is, she is actually not bad. she's attractive, smart, and our conversations connects. I told a friend of mine a few days back that i think i should try to ask her directly, and bcoz she is too shy i might make a first move to see if we match each other. but my friend forbade me and said she is not a really good choice and mentioned that there are many better girl out there. this is because sometimes i asked him for advice and he also knew some of her bad characters that i told him before. she is kinda bossy and getting angry easily. 

so, it was last week that she said she want to come to my place and asked if i have tried her fried sesame rice. and i said i wasnt in berlin and wont come back until monday afternoon and then she said she will come on tuesday. So, it was tuesday yesterday and she did come. I don't know if i watched too much movie or drama, if i am not wrong it is said that if you really like someone, your heart will either skip a beat or beats faster. But i realize i didn't feel anything like that nor i missed her.

Haiz, am i just a newbee in a relationship? do i need to feel that kind of sensation first to be sure?

i know some of my female friend who rejected some guys because they say they dont feel anything toward them. But there are also girls that didn't feel anything at first but madly in love after accepted the guy. (in my culture there are rarely any girl confessed to a guy first).

Now you know my problem. I dont know what to do, should i keep my heart closed to her at all or just see where this is going.