Optimistic me

dear diary,

lately i´ve been asking myself, where the old me has gone. As far as i remembered, i used to be very optimistic in everything i´m doing, included when i was preparing for my exams. but as so many years have passed, i find myself has changed much, i don´t have many confidence as before. Like when i was just studying intensively just 1 day before exams years ago, i know that´s not the way a real student supposed to do, but with the thinking like, i can do this, i need no more than a day, that the confidence that has made me passed all those tests so far. what i´m focusing in this entry, it´s not the 1 day before exams preparation, but the confidence, where did all of it gone actually? *sigh*

btw, talking about the old me, i have changed in another way too.. i think, i used to be very humorous, i could make practical jokes on almost every sentences i said. But nowadays, i dunno why, maybe because i watched too much comedy series (lol..), i find that my jokes aren´t that funny. that´s why i rarely telling anybody any, i simply kept it to myself, by saying, it´s not that funny, don´t need tell other people about it, and this make me kinda being a guy with no jokes to tell..haha.. togetherness (with friends or families) without laughter isn´t the way i wanna picture my life with. should start thinking a way for that too now.

despite of all this thought i had, by writing this now, i think i kinda know where the problem actually lies. i could have just change myself back to the way i was before, or i can just change to be better from now on. people do change, dont they? my exam is in 3 days (have been preparing for almost 2 weeks already), if it goes wrong, then i really really should change myself starting by making library as my second base after my bedroom and having "no study today, no gain tomorrow" as my life motto. hohoho.. think that would do it.

thanks for reading everyone..




Quote of the day:

Never be afraid of falling down, ‘cause when you stand on your feet again be sure you’ll be a different person.
~Author Unknown

Happy Birthday Dad...!!!!!

dear diary,

oh, you don´t know how i wish to be home right now, to celebrate my father´s birthday at home. it´s his 52th anniversary, wish you stay healthy and have a long, happy and blissful life dad.. though hearing your voice just now over the phone showed that you´re happy that i called, it can´t make me happier to know that. (geez.. i´m not crying right now, believe me!). love you dad.. Happy birthday.. ok, yos.. i must pass this exam for you.. cia you andy..



quote of the day :

Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.
~Author Unknown

how i spent my lazy day today

dear diary,

yeah i know that i must study for my -in 2 weeks- upcoming exam. but dunno why, i felt so sleepy since morning. umm.. what have i done today? woke up at 7.30, sat in front of computer doing this and that for about an hour and then as i wanted to start my studying, felt really really sleepy. ok, change of plan, i tried to relax a bit by continuing to watch Red Cliff which i left half watched the night before. almost crying though (nah.. joking). and then it was 11a.m. already. at first i wanted to take a bath, but as i entered the bathroom, i just realised that i haven´t clean it for quite a long time already, and then decided to clean it while assuming it as an exercise. hehe.. in the end i didn´t just clean the bath, i cleaned the whole apartement (kitchen and living room too). feel happy though to see how clean it is now, hope that can at least last for a week.

and then it was 1.30 p.m. already, i took a bath *finally* and then ate my lunch which is just rice with sunny side up. ^^ hmm.. think i must stock more foods in fridge so that we can eat proper lunch everyday (ok, noted). the time surely flew so fast, it was 3 p.m. decided to do some groceries shopping for tomorrow cooking at real (carrefour look-alike) in the gesundbrunnen center, and in the end just bought a pan since i havent decided what to cook. one thing that caught my attention though, there are some new machine there, it called self-service cashier. i don´t know if i am outdated or something, but it´s really new for me to see that though. man can just scan his own groceries there and pay with debit/creditcard and even cash. it´s cool but by installing it, i can imagine, many people will lose their cashier job. that´s technology for ya.. btw, i didn´t try the new mashine though, since i´ve already in queue of the ordinary cashier. think there would be still 2 or 3 normal cashiers that open for people (maybe older people) that inconvenient with the new technology. and then i continue my journey *hehe* stopping by in rossman to buy light bulb and didn´t forget to buy baking paper too so that someone can still bake for us when she feel like it of course.. right hui?

as i came home it was 5 p.m. then i went swimming just like i planned the day before. the water was cold. on the board it´s written the water temperatur is 27 degrees but why i feel it was like 20 or 22 degrees, brrrr... but it´s ok, since not many people there that afternoon, really enjoying it. and then on the way home, which is just about 100 meters from the pool, there were 3 girls by around ages 16-17 keep calling me by psst.. pssst.. pssstt...

geez... kinda annoying.. i know that i´m good looking and cute, oopss..haha.. but.. it should be boys who do that to girls, not the other way around. i don´t know how to react to something like that, feel a little bit shy actually, and they keep doing that louder and louder coz i didn´t turn my head to see them. now i know how it feel when some girl being pestered like that by man.

btw, i didn´t directly go home and did some stop by *again*, i went to saturn (electronic mall) to buy batteries for my scale and did go to see if any fan was available, since they are out of stock last week. they are just 2 types of fan there in saturn (normally there was quite a lot of choices, at least 8 fan types), it means they are still short of stock. the cheaper one costs 25 euro.. it was exactly the same as the one in my room which costed just 10 euro back then.. 10 euro is quite ok already but 25? definitely not recommended to buy.. and the other one cost 150 euro.. ok, better come back next week.. then i also try to go to media markt, media markt is way bigger shop than saturn, it must at least provide more choices, but there were just 2 types there also. 66 euro one and 88 euro.. so, i was just talking a walk there.. and coincidentally i met irwin and nauva there, they are looking for refrigerator but didn´t find a suitable one also. they said they were just from my apartement to give us cakes that nauva made as a thanks for helping them moving last time.

and added that we should not worry, they are still gonna make inauguration party sometime in the near future. they said it´s not that they won´t make any, but they still havent got any free time. i just smiled and said we are also got exams in the next few weeks, so we didn´t really expect any party soon. i really wanted to tell them that we are not thinking like that, like we earned and really longed for their party. when there will be a party, that´s cool, when there aren´t, it´s ok too.. but it´s not my decision to make since everyone in alex helped them, not just me. well, just let it be then.. as i arrived home it was 8 p.m. already, was very hungry and ate dinner that waryanto prepared. nice..

so, this is all of what i´ve done today, as i re-read it again, is it really my lazy day or is it my busy day actually? hmm.. left it for you to assume.

quote of the day :

“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.”

Harvey MacKay quotes

Clare´s "Abschiedsparty"

dear diary,

yeap, i come home from her party just now.. have i mentioned about clare here before? if i haven´t here some short intro about her. she is an exchange student from australia that studying here in the TU Berlin for a semester. young, nice and very friendly, that´s her.. and also, sometimes in the weekend we went jogging, she´s one of my jogging teammates.. gonna miss her, since she´s gonna fly back to her country this thursday (22th july). wünsche dir viel Erfolg da, und schön dich kennenzulernen. ^^ hope we can meet again sometimes in the future.

And about the party, there were at least 20-30 people attending, and of course we were supposed to bring our own drink, so i brought 3 bottles of beer with me. since i think it´s westener´s party, nothing better than beer would do. btw, have i told you, that i promised not to drink anymore? or i haven´t, rite? ^^. dunno, but i think it is ok, to drink beer sometimes on such event, it´s not like something gonna happen to me if i drank just that much, right? drank 2 bottles beers plus 2 glasses of coctails. the party was not boring at all, the music playing good songs all the time, people talked a lot there, some guys took these chance to woo some girls, some were dancing, or some simply sat in the corner like me, talking to some guys beside me. some serious guy´s talk..hehe.. about how to woo girl in that kind of party, their or their friends experience with girls and which girl interest us the most. they were so into it, and i simply a little bit dozed off, since i´m not too open about it (this was the second party i´ve attended to since i came to berlin, that´s why i dunno what to talk about, since i actually don´t like partying and drinking beer). i´m not the guy that can make some relationship from a party with a girl i just know. since i think relationship is some serious thing to take, love need time to grow, so i always think.. we can´t force it. we can´t just love someone we just know, and he/she surely can´t love you back too without knowing urself more. but, in some tv love dramas, there were always some protagonist that regret the girl he likes taken by some other guy. i think it is the procedure already, we just realised that we like her/him if they were taken from us. is it really too late by then? then, should we took the chance to court the girl we like, even if we know, the girl hasn´t certainly yet into us. that´s also suicide, rite? i don´t believe in love in first sight. think that love can grow along with the time (it´s a little bit like philip lahm´s love story), it needs care, understanding and commitment to maintain, and it´s unconditional, when you love someone, love her whole. love is sharing your world with her, and it´s where you automatically prioritize the loved one above ourselves. hmm.. wonder, why i´m still single?? In the party, i was wondering that it is true when someone said that, we human are born to be a pair. the guys need the girls, and the girls need us guy´s company. it´s just as simple as it is.

i think i´m so drunk already by writing things like this, hope i won´t regret writing this entry as i wake up tomorrow morning or in the afternoon.

Back to clare, before i go to the party, i said to my housemates that i´m gonna be at the party at the latest till 23 o´clock. But as the time showed 23:30 am, i was still there. the party host was busy checking on every of us, talked to us, made the party not boring at all. i said to myself, if i go home now, i will be harsh on her. as the time goes by, i can´t stand my tiredness, feel so sleepy and got a headache too, maybe because of the alcohol i drank. it was 00.10 a.m. that i went to the toilet and saw my face in the mirror, it was a total tired man i see there, then i decided to went back to my sit to take my bag and went to find clare to say goodbye for the last time. but like i already know, she asked me why can´t i stay longer, she´s unhappy. and then i said, the party was great, but i should go home now. and then she also asked, is tomorrow jog more important than my party. as i want to answer that question and to add more goodbye and wishing her good luck sentences, her boyfriend suddenly approached her and said that he should go too. then they were talking very long in some serious tone.

i don´t want to disturb, and i just went home. feel sorry for her, that i can´t say proper goodbye with some resonable reason, and i think that me dissapearing like that without really saying "bye2" was impolite. regret it now, i should have waited till they finished talking. feel like, i´m gonna text her tomorrow, to say once again that the party was great, greater than i thought it would (no offence, it is just me that a little bit anti-social here i think, haha..), but i must go now, need some sleep, and prepare for monday´s exam. wishing her good luck and success there in australia where she´s gonna be always near her big family. and please don´t miss all her friends that staying here in berlin too much..

and as i came home, there were cakes on the table that cl made this evening. yay... happy that she´s that free to bake us tasty thing to eat almost everyweek. her staying here was really a good decision. hihihi.. ^^

nite everyone.. and may we all find our own happiness soon.. hehe..

quote :

(i will add it tomorrow, since i don´t have any energy left to find some nice quote)

edit:

“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.”

~unknown.

A Better Change

thanks to a friend of mine that just recently made me finally remember what i come here to berlin really for. Why do i really realised that after i did bad in my exam yesterday.huh... If i learn and prepare for it long before, that exam would be just a piece of cake. But now, i think, even if i pass the exam, it would be just with a very sufficient note. *sigh*

A better change is indeed needed. i don´t know if it is too late already to realize it now. but hey, it´s better late than not changing at all. Hope it will better for me in the next exam. Oh, headache and hot weather please go away asap.. i still need to learn many things tomorrow. wish me luck.

P.S. Look like i didn´t just owe you ice cream, i owe you more than that this time.. thx..

Quotes of the day :

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.

~Douglas Pagels

14 Ways to Not Gonna Get Girl in Your Life

(for fun purpose only)

1. When you´re with a girl you like, don´t start any conversation. just keep quiet and make thing awkward.

2. Don´t be there if you´re needed, but be there when you´re not.. XD

3. Don´t be yourself in front of her, just be someone else.

4. Don´t show that you have interest or feeling for her.

5. Don´t try to know her better, to find out what she likes or even to find a way to make her like you.

6. Make her sure that you are not the guy she will be happy with, don´t trouble yourself to try to make her happy.

7. Be nice to all girls. Don´t think this is like some gambling to find if there will be one of them that will fall for ya, believe me, if they know you´re nice to all of them, they would not.

8. Confess your love to every girl you know included even the one you just know.

9. Pay no attention when she´s saying something and never compliment her about anything.

10. Don´t call her for no exact purpose such as to just simply ask how she is.

11. Never tell her that you care about her.

12. Always think far far away in the far future about how you gonna support your family-to-be with your tight condition like right now. Think that the future will just stay like that and it can´t change at all.

13. Don´t let her know that she has touched your life in an unique way like no one else could and just seeing her around could make you smile cause she´s so special that you seriously want to promise her your everlasting devotion, respect, loyalty and your unconditional love. Don´t prove to her that you´ll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you´ll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.

14. Don´t share your dream, your world, and every aspect of your life with the girl. Don´t dream with her, or build with her, cheer her on and encourage her. Don´t tell the girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Never let the girl know that she´s your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.

P.S. This writer is showing a symptoms that normally occur to people who watched too much romantic comedy lately.. haha..

do i love summer?

dear diary,

yup, it´s summer time already here in berlin. the temperatur was about 28-31 degrees these past weeks, and it will rise higher day by day till early august so it was said. hope it won´t go over 40 degrees though.. btw, although it was just 31 degrees a few days ago, i came out sweating from the bath where i was just had a shower. yeah, i know, it´s unbelievable.... and as i walked out from the apartement´s door with my jeans on to go to university, hmmm.. the word that can describe it well was = unbearable.. ^^

then after uni, i did bought 4 shorts in the evening. it cost me, but considering i have never bought any shorts here in berlin for these past 5 years, i think it´s ok to add more shorts in my wardrobe. (it seems that, this andy don´t want others to start calling him shopper addict by writing that^^).joke..

yup, now i´m equipped n ready to face this summer. make me love you, would ya? ^^

btw, since the temperature seems very dilligently rise itself up. i won´t lose in preparing for my exams next week too. however, as i tried to study in library the other day, i spent half of the time by surfing on fb. mostly seeing others photos.. (since i always trying to avoid some stress by distracting myself to other thing). aih.. but it was just that one time, and now i´ve already made my mind, no more fb for me except maybe once a day in the morning. but i did found many interesting things on that day though. A junior of me (he is also my cousin) who is studying in spore, is having holiday and went back to Takengon, my hometown. He post quite many pics. It was sure nostalgic. saw some pics of his friends there too.. wow.. havent seen them for ages already. at least the last time i saw them, it was about 6-8 years ago. i did went back to the town 2 years ago, but didn´t met them.

what i wanna say is, they changed a lot.. i mean really a lot. the chubby fat boy and girl turn to handsome/good looking guy and girl. i haven´t have a slightest idea that they can change that much when they are thin. now i wonder how handsome i can be if i´m losing more weight, hahaha.. (audience : oh come on dude, really? is that even possible? andy : shut up..^^). My motivation is boosting up...

here are some of the pics about my hometown i would like to share.. ^^ (copyrighted by my cousin, haha.. i need to write that rite?)

Lake view 1

Traditional Market 1

Traditional Market 2

Market 3

condiment store 1

condiment store 2

Top hill view of the town

Coffee plant (coffee is the biggest export-commodity in my hometown)

view from lower side of the hill

Lake view

Picnic Hut

From waterfall..

...to some cave (tourist mostly come here)

fresh pineapple from local garden with rojak sauce and rough chopped peanut

town center

town from above 1

town from above 2

nice view from some corner

some local snack (martabak)

martabak in progress

town+ lake + mountain = takengon ^^

yup, that was the pics from his fb.. but not all of what you´ve seen it here is all of it already.. this is just some little part from how my hometown look like, hehe.. come to visit if you want, me and my family would gladly welcome you.. ^^

today´s quote :

“Don't go through life, grow through life.”

Eric Butterworth quotes (Minister and author)

Hui2 house welcoming party

dear diary,

first of all i would like to say welcome to CL who joined our apartement since last week. hope you can adapt well. and we promise, we wouldn´t treat you badly. *finger crossed* haha.. jk.

hmm.. what more to say? think i have said it all on the video at that time, or maybe i should post the video here and then start video blogging from now on, haha.. anyway, enjoy your stay.. ^^

btw, i´m curious about what your impression in these first week, should we start the "pesan n kesan" section again this time? haha..

here are the pics from the welcoming party that erick and eko originally prepared.

the cake that eko bought home

nice looking one

it´s yours..

made some wish yo? ^^ good2..

potong kue peresmian jadi anggota alex genx, kekeke..

start from the eldest one (sounds so old here budi, haha.. but he is actually not that old, right bud?)

lastly, welcome to the genx yo... we´ll need to support each other from now on.. cheers...

Today´s quote : (hehehe.. lebay mode [on])

“A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the”

Buddha quotes (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)